If you were to work on one thing in 2024 that would help you feel calmer and happier, I would make it building your self-worth.
Quoting directly from Sanjana Gupta’s article on Well Mind:
Low self-worth is characterized by a negative view of oneself and a lack of trust in oneโs abilities. As a result, there is a perpetual fear of failure, difficulty accepting positive comments, and a disproportionate focus on weaknesses. Because there is a strong tendency to view oneself as unworthy, there is also a tendency to elevate others, in an effort to compensate. Someone with low self-worth may therefore minimize their needs, allow their boundaries to be infringed, go out of their way to please others, and be unable to stand up for themselves.
If not reason enough for recruiters to ensure they are brimming with self-worth…
Low self-worth is highly correlated with depression and anxiety. As a result, people may experience symptoms like low mood, irritability, anxiety, fatigue, changes in weight, sleep difficulties, and inability to concentrate.
As regular readers know, I expect my memoir, The Damage of Words: A Memoir of Healing Self-Hate & Gaining Self-Mastery, to be published this year. In it, I share the epic journey I have been on to move away from abysmally low self-worth to one of self-love, kindness and compassion. I believe that if I can do it, anyone can. (Join the waitlist here)
What it takes to build it is different for everyone. Maybe it will be a book, a coach, a therapist, a spiritualist, a retreat or something else. But in 2024, there is no shortage of options available. It just takes one step.
Value yourself
When you have self-worth, you hold firm to your values and boundaries, and you don’t allow others to mistreat you. Initially, it isn’t easy – it can be uncomfortable – but when you see how people appreciate your self-respect and know your boundaries, it becomes a no-brainer.
So let me share an example of how I hold true to my worth and values. I appreciate this isn’t the same as handling hiring managers, but it is about saying no. Saying no to being asked to give my time and expertise for free, which happens far too frequently.
On New Year’s Day, I woke to an unexpected message that reminded me of how far I have come, how I walk in authenticity and stay true to my values, and that people usually show you who they are the first time. (Well, unless you have a lesson to learn from the Universe, but I digress…)
The sender said, ‘I’m trying to build bridges. Would you be interested in…’
My inner dialogue went like this:
Me: ‘Hmm, bridges without an apology.’
Ego: ‘Ooh, it’d be fun though. OMG, you don’t want to miss this!’
Soul: ‘This isn’t for you. You will be unable to create a real impact. This goes against your values. It will also be awkward to explain. You are worth more.’
Ego: ‘Come on!! Reply. You’ll get that long-awaited apology because they want to build bridges. And they will totally pay you for your time and expertise.’
Soul: ‘You won’t receive an apology because a leopard doesn’t change its spots. But reply professionally because you only ever wanted what was best for those impacted by the work, and remind them that last time, they set you up to fail. But state your non-negotiables because you know that they won’t consider paying you or apologise. They have shown you before that they don’t value you.’
I replied professionally.
In the next reply, I received no apology. I chuckled.
Soul: ‘Thank goodness you always listen to me.’
Me: ‘Too right!’
One of the greatest gifts from my healing journey is understanding the difference between ego – the formerly loud inner critic – and soul – the quiet inner mentor. The latter always guides me best. Tara Mohr’s book, Playing Big, is an excellent place to start to understand the difference between the two and how ego can keep you small. Though written for women, it is valuable for all genders.
Recruiter self-worth
Daily, recruiters are on the emotional rollercoaster of matching people to other people. Already one of lows and highs, over the last 3 years, the profession has taken a battering. It is not surprising that many have chosen new careers, even those who have been around for decades.
If you are entering this year still exhausted and hoping to avoid burnout, it is time to build your self-worth back up and end the people-pleasing, slipped boundaries, and the feeling of lacking control.
Do I know how you can do it? No, because I don’t know your individual situation, but there is no shortage of options available to you.
Do I believe that you can, though? Yes, because I did, and it changed everything.
Do I think you’ll be far happier? Definitely!
Do I think your recruitment will be better for it? Without a doubt!
If I can help, drop me a line.ย
